How to know if your child needs professional help

Parents often contact me unsure if they require help for their child or indeed for themselves in supporting their child. Typically I would say that if you are wondering about it then help is required. However this help might involve just a few parent support sessions from me for reassurance that they are on the right track with what they are doing in their parenting. This is often a great relief and they continue on with a greater sense of certainty and empowerment. Very simple indeed.

At other times more support is required for their child and themselves. Below I outline some of the common signs that will indicate to parents that their child is in need of outside support from a trained person who can form a trusting relationship with their child and themselves to explore what is happening in the child's life. This relationship is vital to the process of healing and recovery from whatever is causing distress for the child.

When to seek help

1. The child is struggling at home, at school and beyond to manage their emotions - angry outbursts which the child cannot manage, temper tantrums which happen for no apparent reason, aggressive behaviour with friends and siblings

2. The child is regressing: in their school work, wetting their bed, becoming more clingy

3. The child is isolating themselves from their peers, from activities that they enjoyed in the past, refusing to go on outings with family or friends. The child is saying things like "I have no friends", "nobody likes me"

4. The child has developed self destructive behaviours, banging their heads, hurting themselves deliberately.

5. The child's eating or sleeping habits have altered: unable to go to sleep and/or stay asleep, refusing to eat/eating very little or eating too much.

6. The child who is worried or sad a lot of the time and is unable to access joy in their daily lives

7. The child who is talking about death a lot. Children will talk about death as a way of understanding what it is all about, a natural curiosity. However if the child is talking about suicide or indeed hurting another, help is required urgently.